June 27, 2017 - 8:00am -- Anonymous

Last week I mentioned the work of the Search Institute, and while I was doing some research I realized they have some new research that I’d like to share.  Their goal is to identify what children need to have in life to succeed.  They work to build on children’s strengths rather than deficiencies and emphasize the possibilities for common good.  Based on some recent data there are five top strategies they believe to assist children in being successful in their futures.  This research was conducted nationwide to more than 1,085 3-13 year olds.  When parents report that they have stronger relationships with their children and use these strategies, the children are more likely to:

Be motivated to learn

Take personal responsibility

Manage their emotions well

Be able to concentrate and put in effort

Experience fewer behavioral problems, such as throwing temper tantrums or fighting

Help others and be concerned about other people

Developmental relationships within the family are up to 10 times more important than other demographic factors, (income, race and family composition), in predicting key character strengths.  The heart of the study identified that relationships are characterized by five essential actions:

  1. Express Care: Show that you like me and want the best for me.
  2. Challenge Growth: Insist that I try to continuously improve.
  3. Provide Support: Help me complete tasks and achieve goals.
  4. Share Power: Hear my voice and let me share in making decisions.
  5. Expand Possibility: Expand my horizons and connect me to opportunities.

So how can we take action to make sure that these are incorporated in our families?  Here’s what they suggest:

  1. Express Care by Listening and paying attention when you are with me.  Be warm and let me know that you like being with me and express positive feelings toward me.  Invest time and energy to doing things for and with me.  Make it a priority to understand who I am and what I care about and be dependable, be someone I can count on and trust.
  2. Inspire me to see future possibilities for myself and expect me to live up to my potential.  Hold me accountable for appropriate boundaries and rules.
  3. Encourage and praise my efforts and achievements while guiding with practical assistance and feedback to help me learn.  Be an example that I can learn from and stand up for me when I need it.
  4. Respect me by taking me seriously and treating me fairly, give me a voice in making decisions that affect me.  Work with me to accomplish goals and solve problems while understanding my needs, interests and abilities.
  5. Expose me to new ideas, experiences and places and introduce me to people who can help me learn and grow.  (www.search-institute.org/research/developmental-relationship/families)

Whether you are a parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, neighbor, relative or employer there are tasks mentioned above that we can all play a role in.  Encouraging families and children in today’s world is a priority for all of us to have children of the next generation that may succeed in life.