It was wonderful to see so many of you at the fair. The fall weather, and fair activities all culminated into what I hope was a great opportunity for many of you to reconnect with friends that you may not see often. The hard work of so many youths and volunteers is commendable to observe. Thank you to each and every one of you for the investment that makes the events of the day flow smoothly. I also had the privilege of slipping away for my father’s 95th birthday party. Seeing so many neighbors, childhood friends, and organizational friends come to celebrate with us was such a pleasure.
Research talks about how it takes a long time to grow friendships. A recent article in Psychology Today reinforces that the special bonds we have with individuals don’t happen by chance, but it takes time, effort and commitment to build lasting friendships. We all know that people come in and out of our lives, during different seasons. When our children are young it may be playgroups or childcare. During school years we gravitate towards the common activities they may be involved in like sports, band, or 4H/FFA. Later in life, it may be our workplace, place of worship, or community clubs that draw us to others with common values and interests. We tend to find others who we can trust with conversations, who make us laugh and understand when we are frustrated or mad. Being a good friend takes those who accept us at our best and understand our worst but focus and support us through the good and bad.
At dad’s party, my college roommate came. Soni and I have been friends for a long, time. She’s one of those people who helped me grow through college, we supported each other with our families and are now there to help celebrate the milestones. We can pick up where we left off with no judgement.
Friendships build foundation of relationships for future
When I reflect on what makes our friendship work across the miles, I think I can say we appreciate the good in each other, and value the wisdom and listening ear that’s available. We know we can count on each other to be there when needed, which has stood the test of time.
When we help our children at an early age begin to build friendships, in essence we are helping the foundation of relationships for the future. Helping them understand the core values of sharing, giving, listening, supporting, helping, forgiving, and loving are a few attributes that will grow and flourish through the years. We can also help them recognize their own needs and wants so they can balance their independence with their friends. So how do we raise children to be good friends to others? Learning to be understanding as they talk and listen. When you see these actions in your child compliment them and encourage them to recognize this in others. Talk with your child about different situations, why they happen and how to handle them, as it’s a complex world we live in today. Keeping the lines of communication open when they are young will increase the chances that they will continue to talk with you through the difficult teen years. As you encourage playdates and group gatherings, help them recognize who might be a good friend and who exhibits the family values you want to reinforce.
The University of Illinois shares that “Friendship is the single most important factor influencing our health, well-being and happiness”. So, take time today, reach out to a friend and enjoy spending time together.
Melinda Hill is an OSU Extension Family & Consumer Sciences Educator and may be reached at 330-264-8722 or hill.14@osu.edu
This article was previously published in The Daily Record.